that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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