Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
