Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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