I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
