What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
