I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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