ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
smell my finger.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
