did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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