Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
