At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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