Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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