Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
