Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
