Can Purell be used as lube?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
