he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
