Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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