She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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