Duck Duck Cougar?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Randomize
