Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
