What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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