My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
