Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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