I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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