At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
