at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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