I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
