come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't put those talents on a resume
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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