Just fell off a train. Bad.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize