Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
