I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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