do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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