yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
