...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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