Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
