Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
