Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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