You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
