you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
