we have pet lesbian snakes
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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