You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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