You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
too bad you live with your parents still
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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