Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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