Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize