physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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