I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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