Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
People in love make me want to vomit
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
