you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So much rum. So many feels.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
