This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
