and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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