We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
did i just pee glitter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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