Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
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