pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
