i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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