He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
