she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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