And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
