Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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