I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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