My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
