4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
