I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
