proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
