Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
