I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
