I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway