Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
