Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.