hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
