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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.

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• (905): View more from Toronto

  she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.

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• (408): View more from California

  I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.

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  23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.

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• (585): View more from New York

  my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.

  (917): View more from New York City

  can you adopt me?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad

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