We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
