Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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