Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
