Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
