I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
